Happy Birthday To You
Tips for Lawyers on how to get More Money from Your Client's Divorce: and Bank Account

This tip was taught to me by my first attorney.  It's quite simple, and the response will often be immediate and powerful.  In my case, my spouse called within minutes from work and said, "You're Gonna PAY for THIS."  Little did she know that it wasn't my idea, and in fact, I was almost "blown away" by the timing and by the fact that it was NOT done the way I had clearly requested.  It also explains why her first declaration had so little truth in it.  Little did she know that the way it was done was not my idea.

Anyway, here it is.  If your new client has a child whose Birthday is approaching within a week or two, wait until the child's birthday before serving papers to mom, or dad: whichever is applicable.  It also helps if you serve them at work in front of the office secretaries, and/or co-workers.  I suppose it would also work on your client's spouse's birthday as well.  Then just wait for the fireworks ... and the Loot to Roll into your bank account.  Celebrate by taking your wife out to a nice restaurant, or going out with some of your court buddies.

If your client gets upset, just say you're sorry, or that it was a mistake, or that you have almost "no control" over how or when the process server serves court papers.  About the worst thing that can happen to you in for such shenanigans is that your client will fire you and find someone else to represent them.  In other words, you are not going to lose you license over it, nor will your client be able to sue you over it, since the judges are your buddies.  In this regard, I know an "expert witness" in the San Diego area who caught a Family Court psychologist making deceptive and/or false statements both in a report to the court, and on his resume, and he has, so far, spent thousands of hours of his time, and about $250,000 trying to hold the psychologist accountable in Superior Court: after having turned him in to the State licensing board and told that they were not going to do anything about it.  And thus far all he has got from the courts is a pain in the neck and a $96,000 Fine for refusing to shut up and go away.  In other words, the Superior court Judges simply balk at holding one of their own court-buddies accountable: for anything they say or do.  In this case by simply not allowing the case to go to trial.  In fact they have laws to protect them which amount to a license from the State to tell lies in court: i.e. "Litigation Privilege," "Quazi-Judicial Immunity," and "Release of Liability" forms that they have you sign before they do any work (to or) for you.

See also: How to Hand-Pick a Court-Buddy, and When "Private Mediation" Fails